Big Condolences For The Death of Honesty

Big condolences for the death of honesty.. That is all I can say.
I believed you then I asked you the clarity several times but still you kept building the lies. Knowing the unknowns and seeing the unseens. It hurts me, really.
You explained something which I know its not the truth. You will always win even when I'm right. That's what always happen.
Everytime I see those evidences, I give off a red aurora signifying the disappointment. I'm disappointed, its true.
I admit I'm jealous when you said 'that' is your second birthday, when you wrote her name and initials, when you still remembered every memories about her, never pay attention to me and in the other side I give my heart wholeheartedly.
It's unfair though. Once a liar, always a liar.
A LIE IS A LIE NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND DRESS IT UP IN THE END IT'S STILL A LIE.
That's what I regretted.
My mates trynna convince me not to keep it longer anymore but I can't lie to my feelings. No, I love you from the start. I keep on this track, try to fix it, I choose to trust you. I choose to believe your conviction. I keep waiting cause I believe someday you will get over her. Until then, you have this whole heart even though stay on it oftentimes make my tears roll down.
Not so sure that I lost my mind but I think sometimes we should be a masochist. I love you including all the lies you've said. Rihanna sings the truth.

hypnotized by the rain

The rain's pouring Jakarta at 02.45 PM.
I was purposely left the house, going to terrace checking for the rain, oh storm..
The thunder was terrible! and the flash was lightning as sharp as blitz.
They seemed like calling me outside.
But suddenly my body became numb. Doing nothing and saying no words.
I don't know why. Maybe mourning for what I've been through.
I was just stunned and I just really wanted to clear my mind because I thought raindrops could flush and take away all the existing heavy burden in my tired mind and heart.
Do you think I was crying in the rain, eh? No, I wasn't cry.
I was just stand and still.
My body became wet. Alls been wet that way till I type it right now. It was cold outside.
Numb for at least 5 minutes like I lost my mind, 'till I got it and realized how pathetic I am.
-___- I had to go back to my room and hit the bath once more. Outside? It's still raining.

Berasa dinyanyiin Walk Away - The Script

Aku takut ya, beneran takut.
Ini lirik kayaknya nampar banget, kayaknya berasa kamu nyanyi ini ke aku dengan omongan yg "...hope there's someone love you more than me" juga sejalan dengan sifat kamu yg mau menjauh, Diii. If you only knew, there's no one could love me better, but you.

Here is The Script's lyric:

I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But now I've broken away
Somehow instead she forgave me
She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do
Even if it means she denied herself the truth
Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late,
You've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays

She's standing in the heart of darkness
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless
How could any woman in their right mind be so blind,
To find something this safe
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away

She finds color in the darkest places
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces
For such a clued in, headstrong city girl
Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays(Oh, yeah)
But still she stays(Oh, yeah)

I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away

But you've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays

But still she stays, eh
I'm saying walk away
Yeah
I'm saying walk away
(Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late)
But still she stays
Still she stays
Yeah, she stays
She stays

1 chance, no more

have you ever had negative thoughts? I'm sure everyone had. And are those negative thoughts bothering you? obviously yes!
Who wants to think negatively? No one! but I must say that the thought must be cast away.
Honestly, this thought is torturing me. I know this is the result of bad experiences in the past. What so called the 'trauma'.
Throwing away trauma is as difficult as to throw away phobias.
It takes the process and also takes time.
Everything is not as easy as turning back your palm.
I learned to throw away the trauma and these negative thoughts.
Having bad thoughts about someone you love because you're afraid of losing him or ɑ fear being lied by is normal I guess. Why do you call it possessive? I'm not possessive, never crossed into my mind to be a possessive. I was in the time you feel tired of my will to learn this process, you decide to give up and make it end. I was panic, I messed up.
My tears dropped unrestrained. Chaos!
I tried to convince you several times not to end this. I apologized many times. I promised that night to throw away all those negative shits. I learned. Until you reach the point "ok then its up to you"
I asked you to say something about your decision.
You gave me one chance, you said no more.
Oh thanks God. That's so meaningful for me. You can keep this promise "I promise not to think negatively"
Please don't go away I beg you. Don't give it up I love you no matter what, I will try to understand you in every way. Seriously, I've never been this way before.
You're the one. Thanks for the chance. Thank you for teaching me things I didn't get before, about TRUST and FAITH.

Tugas udah ya, jangan lagi ya

*Sigh* wait up pals, let me take ɑ deep breath. I've been sick and tired of these assignments! These 'duties' are like ɑ bomb that suddenly exploding onto your face. Can you imagine how cruel these tasks destroy you? I'm shocked, seriously.
What I can't even give ɑ tolerance is there are our lecturers who-can't-be-mentioned gave us ɑ task that should be given in only ɑ week. I don't mind about the paper but gooossh! You gave it in the middle of my chaotic condition where there are lotta unfinished task. Hey, you even come rarely to our class how could you say and think you have given that ASSignment??!
I don't talk about 'ɑn individual' but actually 'people'
Finally, love it or not, happy or unhappy, full spirit or tired, we as ɑ student have got to finish it.
I've been ɑ procrastinator just to escape from all those shits but apparently I will always end up as an executor for my own dutiesss.

contoh utk TM aplikom

Hak kebebasan udara merupakan salah satu dari manfaat hubungn bilateral atau multilateral antar negara, dalam dunia penerbangan hak kebebasan udara sangtlah berguna sekali, karena dengan adanya kebebasan udara maka jarak tempuh atau rute dari suatu jalur penerbangan dapat diperpendek. Selain itu, pasaran dari suatu maskapai dapat semakin luas, tidak hanya tingkat domistik, namun juga lintas negara.

Adapun kebebasan udara yang telah ada antara lain :

Kebebasan pertama : hak suatu penerbangan baik berjadwal ataupun tidak berjadwal, untuk melintas wilayah udara negara lain tanpa mendarat / landing. Contoh : penerbangan dari singapura menuju sydney dengamn melintasi atau melewati Indonesia.

kebebasan kedua : hak sutau penerbangan baik berjadwal atau tidak berjadwal, untuk melintas wilayah udara negara lain dengan keadaan tertentu sehingga penerbangan tersebut dapat mendarat / landing di negara tersebut tanpa mengangkut atau menurunkan penumpang atau barang, karena pesawat mengalami gangguan atau kehabisan bahan bakar. Sehingga pada pelaksanaanya penerbangan tersebut harus menurunkan penumpang atau barang selama pesawat diperbaiki. Contoh : penerbnagan singapura menuju sydney harus mendarat di Indonesia karena kehabisan bahan bakar.

kebebasan ketiga : hak suatu penerbangan berjadwal untuk mengangkut penumpang dengan tujuan negara pertama yang berasal dari negara airline itu sendiri. Contoh : garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Indonesia menuju Singapura.

kebebasan keempat : hak suatu maskapai penerbangan untuk menangkut atau menurunkan penumpang dari negara pertama menuju negara asal airline. Contoh :  Garuda Indonesia  mengangkut penumpang dari Singapura menuju Indonesia.

kebebasan kelima : hak suatu maskapai penerbanagan untuk mengankut dan menurunkan penumpang atau barang dari negara pertama menuju negara ketiga, dengan persetujuan negara ketiga. Contoh : garuda indonesia mengangkut penumpang atau barang dari Singapura menuju Malaysia atau sebaliknya.

kebebasan keenam : seperti halnya kebebasan kelima, namun penerbangan tersebut melewati negara maskapai sendiri. kebebasan keenam ini biasanya tidak dimasukkan dalam kesepakatan layanan udara sebgaimana kebebasan kelima. Contoh : Garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Singapura menuju Malaysia transit di Indonesia.

kebebasan ketujuh : hak sutau penerbangan untuk mengankut penumpang atau barang antar wilayah pemberi hak dengan negara ketiga tanpa persyaratan memasukkan titik manapun dalam wilayah negara penerima hak dalam operasi penerbangan.

kebebasan kedelapan (cabotage right) : hak yang diberikan negara asing untuk melakukan pengangkutan penumpang atau barang dalam lingkup domestik antar kota di negara pemberi hak.

Dalam pelaksanaannya kebanyakan suatu maskapai hanya menggunkan hak 1-5, sedangkan selebihnya biasanya maskapai penerbangan asing, masuk dalam  satu aliansi  dengan negara pemberi hak

Hello 2011

This is my first post in this new year, yeah 2011 spirit!!
I just wanna share a little story of what was happened in the end of 'twenty ten'
Once I lost my money and had to witness bad occurrences I was afraid if I should face a bad new year eve. It happened, true! But I kept myself to be sure that its just a little rock. A little rock won't make me stumbled.
Lucky me I was going through the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 with a man who is at that time I called 'The toughest man ever'
Because I found when all problems and all people seemed attacking him, he is still survive. -At that time- I didn't mean to call him only at that time, but he was lil bit angry and said that he's just not that tough. In my mind I said "Well, okay I will not call you the toughest man later if its just reminding you about another weakness"
Forget about what was happened in the past, don't bring all the bad things in 2010 into this new year. It has end. let's just enjoy tomorrow. Hey, happiness is just a couple of dots away!

Isn't it patience?

I love it when your activities were only chat with me all the time. Now,hard for me finding you during the entire day but i know for sure trust means everything.
extremely tired. Yes i know you are!
Try to throw away all the selfishness even though i miss you. Attempting to force this desire to understand the only you

Bugs? ☺

Don't let the bugs bite, if the do i'm gonna squeeze them tight and they'll never bite another night.

Don't let bug bites,but let me bite you instead ya,hehe:-*on cheeks more:-* on lips and hug

I love you to infinity and beyond :)

Can I name it 'untitled' ?

“Aku kan kuat, berlayar di laut.. Ntar nemuin pulau yg ga berpenghuni trus tinggal disana”

“oh ya? Sendirian dong?”

“ga, berdua..”

“berdua? Sama siapa?”

“....... sama kamu”

“..........................”

“hm, tapi kayanya kamu ga mau”

“hah kenapa ga mau? Aku mau kok. Mau bangeett”

Fussing?

Me: “yeee. Ok done!”

NN: “What u mean by 'ok done'? please don't mope”

Me: “Well, its clear. It means no need to have a talk everyday,eh?”

NN: “What? i'm confused:-/”

Me: “I'm bothering. All i do is just disturbing you.”

NN: “Bothering me? Never!”

Me: “Maybe i aint bother but u're too lazy listening to my useless talks, ryt? For you maybe better have a talk with other who's more important”

NN: “gosh! no, I didn't mean like that. Like what u said. It's just hard for me idk where to start. I apologize..please don't be angry:-( ”

Me: “nah, I feel you're not unable. You just dont want to. I'm right. Ain't I? or wrong?”

NN: “NO! You're wrong.”

................

Damn Down Damn Down!

Don't lie please don't tell me lies. Cause I know you're not a liar. Your deeds sometimes get me down but I suddenly got a boost of confidence when you turn a favor. I always use some of my hidden strength to get up. I can't even stand up. Wow, i'm that weak compared to little ants! For a brand new ending I'm doing this, you know i'm fighting.
I AM I AM I AM I AM. there's no You ARE. Am I the only one fighting?
Kindness collapsed. Ignoring is fun? Eh?
But ah..Rather than hold onto broken dreams i'm just hold onto LOVE.

Giving, understanding, and caring for you are my truly desire. I ain't expect for your favors. Notice it: I always be here whenever you need.

When A Stranger Become One of Your Greatest Motivator

Kenapa gue milih buat nulis judul ini dalam bahasa inggris, karena kalau itu judul diartikan dalam bahasa Indonesia jatohnya bakalan agak sedikit jahat pada kata ‘stranger’.
As a matter of fact, stranger means :
• a person whom one does not know or with whom one is not
• a person who does not know, or is not known in, a particular place or community. Actually gue lebih milih buat tidak mengartikan stranger itu sebagai “orang asing yang tidak dikenal” yaa di postingan ini gue mengkonotasinya sebagai orang yang “tadinya ga diketahui apa apa tentang dia sekarang udah jadi kaya keluarga dan teman sendiri even belum face to face” Got it?

Ya gue anggap ngerti lah ya jadi gue tinggal cerita doang nih. Begini ceritanya, di microblog yang gue sebut twitter, dari awal gue buat sekitar bulan maret atau mei yah? Lupa. yang jelas kalo ga maret mei itu, udah lama banget gue follow kakak mahasiswa yang juga sebagai BEM di salah satu perguruan tinggi di Bandung. Namanya Kak Putra. gue selalu ketawa bahagia tiap ngeledekin Kak Pet-nama panggilannya- dengan kata BEM *penekanan pada kata BEM* apalagi dengan penambahan fakultasnya yang panjang itu dan kak Pet pasti kesel. Gatau kenapa, padahal menurut gue menjadi Badan Eksekutif Mahasiswa itu suatu hal yang membanggakan loh.

Okay jadi kenapa gue bikin judul diatas dan gue ngebahas kakak yang paling baik dan ngocol itu, yap! He is one of my greatest motivator. Juga udah gue anggep kayak kk beneran sendiri. Curhat iya, nanya apa-apa ke kak Pet iya, sampe becandaan yg absurd juga. Tweet nya yang bilang begini ke gue → “See you in UK!”
dan juga pas gue nanya tentang sesuatu yang berhubungan dengan Indeks Prestasi atau yang sering disebut dengan IP trus terakhir ya gue emang cuma berserah dan bilang “Ooh gitu. Tetep ga ngerti -.- yaudahlah kak, yang penting gue belajar aja dulu yang bener”
dan lagi lagi balasan kata-katanya Kak Pet jadi harus words banget! → “hehe iya Ver. You know, remember our talk back then about UK? I’ll see you there ☺”


buat gue kata-kata nya kak Pet kaya me-motivate gue sekaligus ngasih gue tantangan buat HARUS BISA mencapai apa yang gue cita-citain. Makanya gue tulis di post it notes dan ditempel di setiap buku kuliah. Niat ya? emang! jadi kalo males bisa inget terus harus belajar. As you see in my book I wrote that words.

Well gue emang baru 1bulanan ngejalanin dunia baru yg gue sebut ‘perkuliahan’ tapi nanti gue mau buktiin kalo apa yang gue omongin yang cita-cita gue harus bisa ‘traveling keliling dunia dan ngajak papa sama mama’ itu harus bisa terwujud.
Oh iya, ngeliat kak Putra sukses di UK juga! :D Kalo juga ga sukses seperti apa yang orang-orang asumsikan atau bayangkan, ya at least dengan segala kecukupan pasti harus bisa di UK. Also Paris! yeaaah I always dream to make my parents’ hands touching The Eiffel tower, seeing big old Oak Tree and having house with a wide green grass land.

Gue percaya sama quotesnya motivator yg begini: “Kenyataan hari ini adalah mimpi di masa lalu…”
Iya sih, bener juga “orang yang paling miskin di dunia ini adalah mereka yang tidak lagi dapat bermimpi”

Jeremia 29:11 “ For I know the plans I have for you” declares The Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and future”

Pooh oh Pooh, I adore you♥

“Sometimes if you stand on the bottom rail of bridge and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you, you will suddenly know everything there's to be known”


Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. “Pooh..” he whispered.
“Yes, Piglet ?”
“Nothing”said Piglet, taking Pooh's paw
“I just wanted to be sure of you”


Pooh : “Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I would never leave”

Wish ≠ Dream. Wish is not a Dream.

Sometimes your wish cannot be true and just pass as an unreachable thing, but there's always a -God's will- happens to you all the time.
But wish is not a dream
If you have a dream you gotta find a way to reach it. Dream big! Dream big! But don't forget in way to reach your dreams, big efforts are needed.
Oh, prayer as well. 'cause motivator talked to me that 50% of your success can be reached with prayers. Remember, God works!

'1000 burung kertas' Bedtime Story from Rizhadi Adit

This is a story that force me to sleep, got little mistakes and simplicity but it works! :

“Ada 2 pasang kekasih yang sangat bahagia,keduanya hidup dikeluarga yang sederhana.
Suatu hari si perempuan bilang kepada kekasihnya bahwa dia ingin berpisah karena ingin hidup dgn laki2 yang lebih sukses.
Si laki-laki itu lalu patah hati. dia menjadi lebih giat bekerja,dari usaha kecil dia menabung,seringkali ditipu, tetapi dia bangkit lagi dan akhirnya dia menjadi sukses setelah beberapa tahun.
Disuatu hari yang hujan,si laki2 melihat orang tua si perempuan dari dalam mobilnya.
Lalu diapun turun untuk mengikuti kemana perginya kedua orang itu.
tiba-tiba dua orang tua itu masuk ke pemakaman dan betapa terkejutnya lelaki itu begitu dia tau mantan kekasihnyalah yang meninggal karena penyakit keras yg dideritanya sebelum mereka berpisah.
Orang tuanya memberi surat kepada si lelaki dari si perempuan yg berisi permintaan maaf dan ingin si laki2 hidup sukses.
si laki2pun menangis dan berlutut dimakam kekasihnya.
Orang tua si perempuan memberikan 1000 burung kertas buatan si perempuan yg berisi kata cinta kepada si laki2 sbg ucapan perpisahan...”

About to get him/her off

This time I right to criticize you guys who are still dwell on one who don’t even think about you, I found that you just do something useless for the expectation that maybe it cannot be true.
Don’t you realize it that there’s a wish which can’t be true even when you still dwell on it and make an effort but your wish, hope, or expectation just pass as an unreachable thing.
In this case, I just wanna explore on simple thing,, like “Lovelife”.
Yeah you know its what always happen all the time and its like ‘euwwhh’ but sometimes ‘wow!’ When someone you love leave and he don’t care about you no more.
Hemm I don’t wanna judge you for you still have an authority with your own feelings to love him miss him or still care about him BUT, don’t you feel tired?
For me, this shits just make me fed up till I wanna puke.

I wanna ask you, with all your effort, tons of your tears, is he ever thinking of you? If not, he don’t deserve at all. Get over it, you gotta find a way how to make it without him.
I’ve been doing it all alone with my own self, and you know what? Its more comfortable because you can be more focus with your life.
Moreover if he already found another girl.. Ooh girls, please you should remove all things about him and stop being ‘menye-menye’. :D

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!! WHAT’S DONE IS DONE!

I will write down tweets here:
“You have to stand up for what’s right, even if it means standing alone #DamnItsTrue”

“Don’t bother reserving a space in your heart for someone who doesn’t make an effort to stay” #TMO

“Look carefully, there’s so many happiness around you. All you have to do is clear the ‘fog’ in your eyes” #TheMoodBooster

“Missing someone is a horrible feeling, but knowing that they don’t miss you back is so much worse” #DamnItsTrue

and thiss from me: “I guess you’re dumb when you know you should be doing let go but you don’t”
Oh, one more thing: God knows our feelings. It’s just that we have to open our mouth and heart when we want HIM to listen. So, PRAY!! Because nothing’s better than share all your problems in prayer.

Ma Quote™

Reflection at night is needed, contemplating all things we've going through in this life. Still, enjoy your life!

Eka Ramaditya bohong?

Ey gue ga tau ini gimana, yang jelas tadi barusan aja gue liat di twitternya @TraxFMJKT kalo blogger dan pembuat sound game jepang itu selama ini melakukan kebohongan publik?

Ini retweet-an dari trax:
RT @TraxFMJKT: Blogger tunanetra, Eko Ramaditya, baru aja ngaku selama ini ngibul. waduh, lo sendiri pada pernah ngibul demi diliat keren preng?

RT @TraxFMJKT (via kompas) ngibul bahwa dia bikin musik game jepang. padahal ngga. doi udah minta maaf tapi ;) @astridsabir**

Haaaah? What the hell is goin' on?
Jadi selama ini dia pura-pura buta?
sudah dijelaskan katanya sih dia udah minta maaf gitu ke publik, tapi... please deh ga usah pake bohong bisa?

Going through it all, move on!

Well pals, its been a year i didn't even touch this blog haha actually since the first month on 2010 i posted a post.
Okay, hemm.... Where should I begin it all? Woaaahh i have lotta stories to tell 'till i confused where i've to start from. Hahaha :D

I agree with what agnes monica says on Chitato advertisement "LIFE IS NEVER FLAT"
On March, April and May I was feel butterflies but at that time I was in misery as well.
3 months that taught me to distinguish the differences between friend or lover.
The boy who was surrounding my mind, as the time went by and more expectation I wished but he didn't even realize my feeling. Finally I reached the point where I ought to say it first. Ok i told him that what i feel is more than just a friend.
Aaaaaahhh.. Can you imagine it? I'm a girl and i tell that boy about my feeling. Rrrrhh i felt terrible at that time.
Lucky me he could understand about it, but from "reviewing all files i got", I decided not to text/phone him again.
We were lose contact for two or three weeks but he 'poke' me by his tweet.
Guess what I got? I'VE GOT MY FRIEND BACK!!
Its good somehow after I told him and i guess we won't talk anymore finally I feel happy that he's still my bestfriend!
I'm definitely truly happy that we are friends till now :)

in the end of May and on the begining of June
I found a new guy. Lil bit annoying at the first I guess its his habit, he feels that he's cool yeah maybe..
He used to text me everyday
We were asking about what was happened in each other daily activities.
I never had a thought that he'd be my boyfriend but this is what occured on June.
Though he's very very nice, we were happy at that time but.... he did break it for some reasons. What i mean by 'reason' is till now i can't understand how could he make it as the reasons?
We were together, it took a month.. Its a short time but..... ah forget it

Gossshh i was terrible when he said it all over. So much tear drops i couldn't handle.

I tried to live July but it only become worst.
As he tried to flirt to another girls I look in to myself, why did I have to stay on this position.
So many sounds shouted that "YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON VER!"
it's like hemm, O-f*ckin-KAY, i'll try to move on.
Now he's in his relationship with idk who the hell she is.
Hey, I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! Not anymore hahaha im moving on ryt? :D

As the time goes by I found a lot of lessons. All that happenned is teaching us a lesson, realize it guys!

The keys are: Forgive, Forget, Fully sincere

Oh, one more thing you should know:
Look at yourself pals, after all this time, after all tears wasted, and all that burn your mind and time, YOU'RE STILL HAVING LIFE AND YOU'VE GONE THROUGH IT ALL BY YOUR OWN-F*CKIN-SELF !
You are tougher than you know,
Say it to those jerks -->“C'mon hurt me as hard as you can, but one thing you should know that I will not give up, I will not be broken, I'll live it all”

Don't dwell on what was, cause the past is still the past ☺