Big condolences for the death of honesty.. That is all I can say.
I believed you then I asked you the clarity several times but still you kept building the lies. Knowing the unknowns and seeing the unseens. It hurts me, really.
You explained something which I know its not the truth. You will always win even when I'm right. That's what always happen.
Everytime I see those evidences, I give off a red aurora signifying the disappointment. I'm disappointed, its true.
I admit I'm jealous when you said 'that' is your second birthday, when you wrote her name and initials, when you still remembered every memories about her, never pay attention to me and in the other side I give my heart wholeheartedly.
It's unfair though. Once a liar, always a liar.
A LIE IS A LIE NO MATTER HOW YOU TRY AND DRESS IT UP IN THE END IT'S STILL A LIE.
That's what I regretted.
My mates trynna convince me not to keep it longer anymore but I can't lie to my feelings. No, I love you from the start. I keep on this track, try to fix it, I choose to trust you. I choose to believe your conviction. I keep waiting cause I believe someday you will get over her. Until then, you have this whole heart even though stay on it oftentimes make my tears roll down.
Not so sure that I lost my mind but I think sometimes we should be a masochist. I love you including all the lies you've said. Rihanna sings the truth.
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
hypnotized by the rain
The rain's pouring Jakarta at 02.45 PM.
I was purposely left the house, going to terrace checking for the rain, oh storm..
The thunder was terrible! and the flash was lightning as sharp as blitz.
They seemed like calling me outside.
But suddenly my body became numb. Doing nothing and saying no words.
I don't know why. Maybe mourning for what I've been through.
I was just stunned and I just really wanted to clear my mind because I thought raindrops could flush and take away all the existing heavy burden in my tired mind and heart.
Do you think I was crying in the rain, eh? No, I wasn't cry.
I was just stand and still.
My body became wet. Alls been wet that way till I type it right now. It was cold outside.
Numb for at least 5 minutes like I lost my mind, 'till I got it and realized how pathetic I am.
-___- I had to go back to my room and hit the bath once more. Outside? It's still raining.
I was purposely left the house, going to terrace checking for the rain, oh storm..
The thunder was terrible! and the flash was lightning as sharp as blitz.
They seemed like calling me outside.
But suddenly my body became numb. Doing nothing and saying no words.
I don't know why. Maybe mourning for what I've been through.
I was just stunned and I just really wanted to clear my mind because I thought raindrops could flush and take away all the existing heavy burden in my tired mind and heart.
Do you think I was crying in the rain, eh? No, I wasn't cry.
I was just stand and still.
My body became wet. Alls been wet that way till I type it right now. It was cold outside.
Numb for at least 5 minutes like I lost my mind, 'till I got it and realized how pathetic I am.
-___- I had to go back to my room and hit the bath once more. Outside? It's still raining.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Berasa dinyanyiin Walk Away - The Script
Aku takut ya, beneran takut.
Ini lirik kayaknya nampar banget, kayaknya berasa kamu nyanyi ini ke aku dengan omongan yg "...hope there's someone love you more than me" juga sejalan dengan sifat kamu yg mau menjauh, Diii. If you only knew, there's no one could love me better, but you.
Here is The Script's lyric:
I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But now I've broken away
Somehow instead she forgave me
She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do
Even if it means she denied herself the truth
Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late,
You've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
She's standing in the heart of darkness
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless
How could any woman in their right mind be so blind,
To find something this safe
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away
She finds color in the darkest places
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces
For such a clued in, headstrong city girl
Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays(Oh, yeah)
But still she stays(Oh, yeah)
I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But you've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
But still she stays, eh
I'm saying walk away
Yeah
I'm saying walk away
(Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late)
But still she stays
Still she stays
Yeah, she stays
She stays
Ini lirik kayaknya nampar banget, kayaknya berasa kamu nyanyi ini ke aku dengan omongan yg "...hope there's someone love you more than me" juga sejalan dengan sifat kamu yg mau menjauh, Diii. If you only knew, there's no one could love me better, but you.
Here is The Script's lyric:
I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But now I've broken away
Somehow instead she forgave me
She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do
Even if it means she denied herself the truth
Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late,
You've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
She's standing in the heart of darkness
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless
How could any woman in their right mind be so blind,
To find something this safe
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away
She finds color in the darkest places
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces
For such a clued in, headstrong city girl
Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays(Oh, yeah)
But still she stays(Oh, yeah)
I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But you've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away (walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
But still she stays, eh
I'm saying walk away
Yeah
I'm saying walk away
(Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late)
But still she stays
Still she stays
Yeah, she stays
She stays
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
1 chance, no more
have you ever had negative thoughts? I'm sure everyone had. And are those negative thoughts bothering you? obviously yes!
Who wants to think negatively? No one! but I must say that the thought must be cast away.
Honestly, this thought is torturing me. I know this is the result of bad experiences in the past. What so called the 'trauma'.
Throwing away trauma is as difficult as to throw away phobias.
It takes the process and also takes time.
Everything is not as easy as turning back your palm.
I learned to throw away the trauma and these negative thoughts.
Having bad thoughts about someone you love because you're afraid of losing him or ɑ fear being lied by is normal I guess. Why do you call it possessive? I'm not possessive, never crossed into my mind to be a possessive. I was in the time you feel tired of my will to learn this process, you decide to give up and make it end. I was panic, I messed up.
My tears dropped unrestrained. Chaos!
I tried to convince you several times not to end this. I apologized many times. I promised that night to throw away all those negative shits. I learned. Until you reach the point "ok then its up to you"
I asked you to say something about your decision.
You gave me one chance, you said no more.
Oh thanks God. That's so meaningful for me. You can keep this promise "I promise not to think negatively"
Please don't go away I beg you. Don't give it up I love you no matter what, I will try to understand you in every way. Seriously, I've never been this way before.
You're the one. Thanks for the chance. Thank you for teaching me things I didn't get before, about TRUST and FAITH.
Who wants to think negatively? No one! but I must say that the thought must be cast away.
Honestly, this thought is torturing me. I know this is the result of bad experiences in the past. What so called the 'trauma'.
Throwing away trauma is as difficult as to throw away phobias.
It takes the process and also takes time.
Everything is not as easy as turning back your palm.
I learned to throw away the trauma and these negative thoughts.
Having bad thoughts about someone you love because you're afraid of losing him or ɑ fear being lied by is normal I guess. Why do you call it possessive? I'm not possessive, never crossed into my mind to be a possessive. I was in the time you feel tired of my will to learn this process, you decide to give up and make it end. I was panic, I messed up.
My tears dropped unrestrained. Chaos!
I tried to convince you several times not to end this. I apologized many times. I promised that night to throw away all those negative shits. I learned. Until you reach the point "ok then its up to you"
I asked you to say something about your decision.
You gave me one chance, you said no more.
Oh thanks God. That's so meaningful for me. You can keep this promise "I promise not to think negatively"
Please don't go away I beg you. Don't give it up I love you no matter what, I will try to understand you in every way. Seriously, I've never been this way before.
You're the one. Thanks for the chance. Thank you for teaching me things I didn't get before, about TRUST and FAITH.
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Tugas udah ya, jangan lagi ya
*Sigh* wait up pals, let me take ɑ deep breath. I've been sick and tired of these assignments! These 'duties' are like ɑ bomb that suddenly exploding onto your face. Can you imagine how cruel these tasks destroy you? I'm shocked, seriously.
What I can't even give ɑ tolerance is there are our lecturers who-can't-be-mentioned gave us ɑ task that should be given in only ɑ week. I don't mind about the paper but gooossh! You gave it in the middle of my chaotic condition where there are lotta unfinished task. Hey, you even come rarely to our class how could you say and think you have given that ASSignment??!
I don't talk about 'ɑn individual' but actually 'people'
Finally, love it or not, happy or unhappy, full spirit or tired, we as ɑ student have got to finish it.
I've been ɑ procrastinator just to escape from all those shits but apparently I will always end up as an executor for my own dutiesss.
What I can't even give ɑ tolerance is there are our lecturers who-can't-be-mentioned gave us ɑ task that should be given in only ɑ week. I don't mind about the paper but gooossh! You gave it in the middle of my chaotic condition where there are lotta unfinished task. Hey, you even come rarely to our class how could you say and think you have given that ASSignment??!
I don't talk about 'ɑn individual' but actually 'people'
Finally, love it or not, happy or unhappy, full spirit or tired, we as ɑ student have got to finish it.
I've been ɑ procrastinator just to escape from all those shits but apparently I will always end up as an executor for my own dutiesss.
contoh utk TM aplikom
Hak kebebasan udara merupakan salah satu dari manfaat hubungn bilateral atau multilateral antar negara, dalam dunia penerbangan hak kebebasan udara sangtlah berguna sekali, karena dengan adanya kebebasan udara maka jarak tempuh atau rute dari suatu jalur penerbangan dapat diperpendek. Selain itu, pasaran dari suatu maskapai dapat semakin luas, tidak hanya tingkat domistik, namun juga lintas negara.
Adapun kebebasan udara yang telah ada antara lain :
Kebebasan pertama : hak suatu penerbangan baik berjadwal ataupun tidak berjadwal, untuk melintas wilayah udara negara lain tanpa mendarat / landing. Contoh : penerbangan dari singapura menuju sydney dengamn melintasi atau melewati Indonesia.
kebebasan kedua : hak sutau penerbangan baik berjadwal atau tidak berjadwal, untuk melintas wilayah udara negara lain dengan keadaan tertentu sehingga penerbangan tersebut dapat mendarat / landing di negara tersebut tanpa mengangkut atau menurunkan penumpang atau barang, karena pesawat mengalami gangguan atau kehabisan bahan bakar. Sehingga pada pelaksanaanya penerbangan tersebut harus menurunkan penumpang atau barang selama pesawat diperbaiki. Contoh : penerbnagan singapura menuju sydney harus mendarat di Indonesia karena kehabisan bahan bakar.
kebebasan ketiga : hak suatu penerbangan berjadwal untuk mengangkut penumpang dengan tujuan negara pertama yang berasal dari negara airline itu sendiri. Contoh : garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Indonesia menuju Singapura.
kebebasan keempat : hak suatu maskapai penerbangan untuk menangkut atau menurunkan penumpang dari negara pertama menuju negara asal airline. Contoh : Garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Singapura menuju Indonesia.
kebebasan kelima : hak suatu maskapai penerbanagan untuk mengankut dan menurunkan penumpang atau barang dari negara pertama menuju negara ketiga, dengan persetujuan negara ketiga. Contoh : garuda indonesia mengangkut penumpang atau barang dari Singapura menuju Malaysia atau sebaliknya.
kebebasan keenam : seperti halnya kebebasan kelima, namun penerbangan tersebut melewati negara maskapai sendiri. kebebasan keenam ini biasanya tidak dimasukkan dalam kesepakatan layanan udara sebgaimana kebebasan kelima. Contoh : Garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Singapura menuju Malaysia transit di Indonesia.
kebebasan ketujuh : hak sutau penerbangan untuk mengankut penumpang atau barang antar wilayah pemberi hak dengan negara ketiga tanpa persyaratan memasukkan titik manapun dalam wilayah negara penerima hak dalam operasi penerbangan.
kebebasan kedelapan (cabotage right) : hak yang diberikan negara asing untuk melakukan pengangkutan penumpang atau barang dalam lingkup domestik antar kota di negara pemberi hak.
Dalam pelaksanaannya kebanyakan suatu maskapai hanya menggunkan hak 1-5, sedangkan selebihnya biasanya maskapai penerbangan asing, masuk dalam satu aliansi dengan negara pemberi hak
Adapun kebebasan udara yang telah ada antara lain :
Kebebasan pertama : hak suatu penerbangan baik berjadwal ataupun tidak berjadwal, untuk melintas wilayah udara negara lain tanpa mendarat / landing. Contoh : penerbangan dari singapura menuju sydney dengamn melintasi atau melewati Indonesia.
kebebasan kedua : hak sutau penerbangan baik berjadwal atau tidak berjadwal, untuk melintas wilayah udara negara lain dengan keadaan tertentu sehingga penerbangan tersebut dapat mendarat / landing di negara tersebut tanpa mengangkut atau menurunkan penumpang atau barang, karena pesawat mengalami gangguan atau kehabisan bahan bakar. Sehingga pada pelaksanaanya penerbangan tersebut harus menurunkan penumpang atau barang selama pesawat diperbaiki. Contoh : penerbnagan singapura menuju sydney harus mendarat di Indonesia karena kehabisan bahan bakar.
kebebasan ketiga : hak suatu penerbangan berjadwal untuk mengangkut penumpang dengan tujuan negara pertama yang berasal dari negara airline itu sendiri. Contoh : garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Indonesia menuju Singapura.
kebebasan keempat : hak suatu maskapai penerbangan untuk menangkut atau menurunkan penumpang dari negara pertama menuju negara asal airline. Contoh : Garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Singapura menuju Indonesia.
kebebasan kelima : hak suatu maskapai penerbanagan untuk mengankut dan menurunkan penumpang atau barang dari negara pertama menuju negara ketiga, dengan persetujuan negara ketiga. Contoh : garuda indonesia mengangkut penumpang atau barang dari Singapura menuju Malaysia atau sebaliknya.
kebebasan keenam : seperti halnya kebebasan kelima, namun penerbangan tersebut melewati negara maskapai sendiri. kebebasan keenam ini biasanya tidak dimasukkan dalam kesepakatan layanan udara sebgaimana kebebasan kelima. Contoh : Garuda Indonesia mengangkut penumpang dari Singapura menuju Malaysia transit di Indonesia.
kebebasan ketujuh : hak sutau penerbangan untuk mengankut penumpang atau barang antar wilayah pemberi hak dengan negara ketiga tanpa persyaratan memasukkan titik manapun dalam wilayah negara penerima hak dalam operasi penerbangan.
kebebasan kedelapan (cabotage right) : hak yang diberikan negara asing untuk melakukan pengangkutan penumpang atau barang dalam lingkup domestik antar kota di negara pemberi hak.
Dalam pelaksanaannya kebanyakan suatu maskapai hanya menggunkan hak 1-5, sedangkan selebihnya biasanya maskapai penerbangan asing, masuk dalam satu aliansi dengan negara pemberi hak
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Hello 2011
This is my first post in this new year, yeah 2011 spirit!!
I just wanna share a little story of what was happened in the end of 'twenty ten'
Once I lost my money and had to witness bad occurrences I was afraid if I should face a bad new year eve. It happened, true! But I kept myself to be sure that its just a little rock. A little rock won't make me stumbled.
Lucky me I was going through the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 with a man who is at that time I called 'The toughest man ever'
Because I found when all problems and all people seemed attacking him, he is still survive. -At that time- I didn't mean to call him only at that time, but he was lil bit angry and said that he's just not that tough. In my mind I said "Well, okay I will not call you the toughest man later if its just reminding you about another weakness"
Forget about what was happened in the past, don't bring all the bad things in 2010 into this new year. It has end. let's just enjoy tomorrow. Hey, happiness is just a couple of dots away!
I just wanna share a little story of what was happened in the end of 'twenty ten'
Once I lost my money and had to witness bad occurrences I was afraid if I should face a bad new year eve. It happened, true! But I kept myself to be sure that its just a little rock. A little rock won't make me stumbled.
Lucky me I was going through the end of 2010 and the beginning of 2011 with a man who is at that time I called 'The toughest man ever'
Because I found when all problems and all people seemed attacking him, he is still survive. -At that time- I didn't mean to call him only at that time, but he was lil bit angry and said that he's just not that tough. In my mind I said "Well, okay I will not call you the toughest man later if its just reminding you about another weakness"
Forget about what was happened in the past, don't bring all the bad things in 2010 into this new year. It has end. let's just enjoy tomorrow. Hey, happiness is just a couple of dots away!
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